April 19, 2013

5 Things To Make Sure Your Daughters Know

1. You are beautiful
Out of the blue. At any random moment. Just look at your daughter and make it known that you find her beautiful.
When they don't feel beautiful, remind them. When they compare themselves to others, remind them.
When I need to get my girls to do something regarding personal hygiene, I find myself often telling my kids you are too beautiful to ________ .
-You are too cute to not have clean teeth.
-You are too beautiful and sweet to stink.
-Your face is too pretty to be dirty.
-You are too beautiful to have snarly, messy hair.
They in turn hear positive reinforcement. Instead of nagging, nagging, nagging, they hear I need to do these things because 'I am beautiful'. Not that these things make them beautiful. They are already beautiful which is WHY they need to take care of themselves. We take good care of already beautiful things.
2. You are a nice girl
"Because you are such a nice girl I know that you will reach out to that child at school who was sitting all alone".
"That was not very nice, and you are a nice girl. Nice girls do such & such."
"You are way too sweet to speak so meanly"
"Oh my goodness, you are way too nice to have such a temper"
Again, I am learning to focus on the positive. Because you are already sweet you should do these things.
3. What you say is important
You have all of my attention. Undivided. Not in the middle of all of my doings. I will stop what I am doing and take the time to listen to you. Even if you ramble on and on, even if it doesn't seem important to me. I will ask questions and look you in the eyes so you know I am listening.
4. I just adore you
This speaks such measures to a child. Adoration. To be adored. It encompasses so much of who they are.
5. You can be yourself
I will not compare you to others. God made you you for a reason. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all make mistakes. You are awesome just the way you are. You don't need to be anyone but you. You don't need to be like your siblings. Each of you are loved. Just the way you are.
When your daughter hears that she is beautiful, nice, adored, loved for who she is and knows that what she says is of value, you will begin to build a self esteem and confidence that females can so lack as they grow older. You will instill a greater love and appreciation of oneself. And when they can see themselves this way they in turn see others this way and treat others as such.

2 comments:

Tiffany Fisher said...

Awesome Laura! In fact, the last few posts have REALLY been on point. Keep it up!

Lindsey kaptur said...

Thank you. Any thoughts and hints on raising two amazing little girls is always so greatly appreciated. Your words are so true and so simple. Thank you!! Hopefully I'll see you again soon!