Guest Blog Post:
I am absolutely thrilled to have you read this post from one of my most dearest friends on earth! My beautiful friend Lindsey is amazing. She has been through more than you could imagine. She has come out victorious and strong! A single mom of 2 boys while graduating with her masters in psychology. She has wisdom beyond her years and always gives the best advice. (even when it's what I need to hear, not necessarily what I want) I love you Lindsey!!! :) -Laura
Walls and Lenses
By Lindsey Hanson
I know that gossip, cruelty, making comparisons, among many other things, can be issues for women. I am going to call them “walls”. I’m hoping to approach these walls from a slightly different perspective and give you an opportunity to tear down the walls in your life. You see, gossip, anger, rejection, pride/arrogance, hopelessness, isolation/withdrawal, control, words, even humor sometimes are self-defense mechanisms we use to protect ourselves from pain.
The truth is we have all been dealt a different hand to play in this life. Some of us come from very stable backgrounds where Mom and Dad were mature, loving, consistent, and gave us a huge head start on life. Some of us come from wealthy backgrounds. Some of us were and are poor. Some of us come from abusive backgrounds encompassing everything from hurtful words and attitudes to all out physical and sexual abuse.
The point is we have all been shaped differently on the inside and obviously on the outside as well. We have each come into adulthood with a different childhood experience than every single person we come in contact with. We all have different walls and lenses through which we view the world. We all view life according to our life experiences. Our lenses of perceptions develop according to where we lived, our environments, our parents, family, peers, etc. We see the world and others according to the lenses by which we view life.
Some of us view the world as our playground. We have the time and resources to make anything happen and, well, pretty much everything you touch turns to gold. (I say “you” because “we” doesn’t apply because this isn’t my reality, haha! Others are struggling to bring milk and bread home to the kids tonight.
What I hope you gather from this, is that all of the things being touched on, in this kindness challenge so far, are symptoms of a deeper problem. You can try to stop gossiping, but if you don’t deal with the root of why you are gossiping, you will never make a lasting change. If you are interested in going deeper and getting free from these walls, symptoms, pain…whatever you want to call it, then read on.
I’m going to walk you through 2 ministry exercises. Find a quiet place where you can focus, get honest, and receive from the Lord…maybe grab a journal and your Bible.
Dealing with Walls
1.) Lord, show me if I have put up a wall to protect myself.
2.) Give me understanding of how I have used that wall.
3.) Jesus, I take responsibility for building this wall.
4.) Do you have a tool you want to give me to bring it down?
5.) I give you permission to bring it down.
6.) I ask you to replace it with ________________________.
7.) Is there anyone I need to forgive? (We usually build walls because of harm/hurts.)
Dealing with Lenses
1.) Lord, show me the lenses through which I have viewed life.
2.) Lord, I have filtered relationships through these filters.
3.) I see others through my filters
4.) I have made judgments that are false.
5.) I hand You every judgment I have ever made while seeing through these
6.) Father, will You exchange my old lenses for new ones? Help me see truth.