I Love Summer

I am absolutely not, in no way, shape or form saying this is the right way of doing things or the only way. It just happens to be my personal way that I want to share with my readers.

I have come to view summertime as a time to rebuild my family. A time to regain focus. A time for the kids to let loose and shed off anything negative from the prior school year. A healthy break. A break from friends, a break from routine and major structure.

Summertime is a time to undo any negative behaviors. It's a time to build stronger relationships as a family.

Summertime is a party.

Summer is like one big continuous weekend!

I love summer!

Our kids are involved in NOTHING.

I don't do summer school. I don't feel the need to plan all of these activities to keep the kids busy or involved. I just want to be home. Altogether. We fly by the seat of our pants more than anything, but that is what allows us to do the fun things. Sleepovers, Chicago, Fairs, Noah's Ark, Spencer Lake, Family time, Pools, Lakes, Grandparents, Cousins, Three Bears Lodge, etc. Fun isn't a chore because our weeks are crazy with "activities".

Carter will do a week of camp. We do a VBS. And a reading program at the library. But these are all fun things that make the kids think of SUMMER!

Now, don't get me wrong. I, like every other mom, have my days that my little chatterboxes drive me bonkers with their nonstop talk and sometimes endless arguing. But I never, ever regret the way we do summer. I never wish time would fly by. I am not "ready for school to start". I never am. I don't roll my eyes about my kids being home.

About a week or two before school starts we begin our routine of earlier bed times, more structure, etc. Once school does start we are back in the swing of things like no other. But we are ready because we've valued our time together as a family! Just like during the school year, when Monday hits we are ready because our batteries have been recharged with the weekend.

I LOVE summer. I love having my kids home!

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

                                                         
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel well, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

(author unknown)
Those sweet little eyes can see a lot! Our actions speak volumes to our children.

A Different Kind of Normal

I have had this post title on my mind for a good month by now. I have so much I feel like I want to share. But I find myself at a road block as to how to share it. Where to start. What to say or what not to say. Will I be misunderstood? Will people know my heart? Will people judge? Will they speculate more?

I know people mean well. In general, I think people are good. After all my family has only known ministry-life together. So when people see our new normal I imagine it sparks curiosity. Can I really blame you for being curious? Not really...

So, where to begin.

For the first time in my and Jeremy's existence as "Laura & Jeremy" we are not in full time ministry. We have taken a little 'hiatus' one could say. It's weird. It's awesome. It's scary. It's sad. It's exciting. It feels a little naked. It's freeing. It's awkward. It's a blessing. And for some reason causes great emotion to rise as I type this. Sometimes I want to cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I want to shout "FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE AT LAST"! One thing that's not changed is we have never doubted our Jesus. We have not feared what we lack. God is good, all of the stinking time. We trust Him wholeheartedly. Only He knows the story He is writing for our lives and I am happy for the role we get to play and the ways He has used us, continues to use us, and will use us in new ways.

Life is interesting to say the least. I mean, it can definitely throw you some unexpected curve balls. I, personally want answers to life's mysteries. But I've learned through this, that sometimes you just aren't going to get all of the how's or why's; the reasons, or the missing pieces. And we really just need to be okay with that. If I can learn to be okay with it in my own life, surely you who wonder or speculate can be okay not knowing and just love us for us.

I'd be lying if I didn't often allow my mind to wander off to far away places of what -ifs and maybe we should have. But the would've, should've, could'ves are in the past. Why dwell on what was, what isn't, what could have been, what should have been, etc. when it just flat out ISN'T. But it's easy to think staying in "this place"....doing "this thing or that" would make all of the difference. Really, this is apart of the story God is writing. So while it's a heck of a lot different than we planned or thought, it's all apart of God's big picture. And He is in control.

In the process of embracing this new normal, I find both positives and negatives, as we can about any situation. I shouldn't really say negatives, because honestly, our life is great. Our family is thriving. We have time on our hands. We get to be normal people. Like, a normal, real family.

No magnifying glass. No scrutiny over our every whim. I get to be 100% totally & truly me, without inhibition. No one to put me in a box. NO MORE BOX! I love living outside of the box. And this has shown me that there is soooo much more we can do! There are so many opportunities that await us! Ministry 100% totally GOD's way! And no one to tell us when to sit, how to sit, what to sit on, etc. NO. MORE. BOX. :) :) :)

Don't get me wrong though, I miss pastoring too. I miss it a lot. It's all I have known as an adult. As a wife. And as a mother. How do I do life as a non-active pastors wife? Do I still fit in the little pastoral circle? Am I a part of the club? Or do I not fit in? Because I kinda feel like I'm not fitting in. I'm a little on the outside. But where do I fit in?

And there is something I have noticed that makes me sad. Quite sad, is the way christians treat normal people vs pastors wives/families. I feel a little like a heathen when I meet a new christian now. Where when someone knew I was a pastor's wife an instant "respect" was often bestowed upon me. An instant kindness offered. Sad, but true. I don't mean it pridefully, it's just something I have noticed lately. It makes a person's self esteem waver. It causes insecurities to rise. Because now, people need to get to know me for me. Not Pastor Jeremy's wife. Me. Just, plain old Laura. And I tell you, I am a confident person in general. But a drastic, somewhat traumatic change can cause a lot of 'feel sorry for yourself' feelings to rise. Right or wrong, they happen.

This new normal allows a new insight into BOTH sides. Where before when I was on one side, I was young, single, etc. Now I have been on the "IN"side for so long...being back over here on the 'out'side causes a whole new perspective.  I know my Jesus is going to use this perspective and new insight. Even though it stinks sometimes, I am excited!

New insight = New opportunity

I have had to remind myself that those who truly know us know our character and what is in it and what is out of it. So true friends can just know there's more to things sometimes. But it's not worth knowing it all. If I'm content with not having all of the answers, so can anyone be.

Life is great. We've learned so much wherever God has taken us. We are grateful for every church we have been a part of and the relationships made and lifelong friendships we get to carry wherever we go. Since being married we have been true to ourselves, our principles, kept our priorities straight and for that I am proud of my sweet little family.

I consider this hiatus a time of refreshing, healing, strengthening and rest.

We are blessed.
We like where God has us.
We are embracing our new normal.
We know we are where God wants us right now.

Ministry just looks different than it ever has before for us.

Stay true to God, Your Family & Yourself

Something that God has echoed over & over again in my own life and tested me on is: Priorities. Making sure I prioritize in a way that is pleasing to Him. God has allowed me insight and wisdom as to what best works for our little family. After all, He gave me these kids and gave them Jeremy & I as their parents for a reason. He has created us. He placed us with one another. So we must work with what we have and be true to who we are and what kind of parents we feel our children need. Because after our salvation, our children are the greatest tangible gift in this world.


I truly believe for a healthy and thriving family we must ALWAYS place God at the center of everything! Colossians 1:15-20 repeatedly tells us that Jesus is first, before, and over everything; He is the beginning. He is most important. But don't just focus on keeping Him first, because then you might neglect Him, but keep Him IN everything you do! The center of your marriage, your family, your ministry, your job, your friendships, etc.

God is of the utmost importance. And then come our Spouse & Kids... only after that, comes everything else.

It's not about rules. It's just a formula for prioritizing that will reap blessings beyond all you can imagine.

Number one, if we are going to stay true to God, our families, and ourselves we have to get our priorities straight. If our home is out of order or out of whack what good will we be at leading others? What sort of examples will we be?

Something that I feel God has been teaching Jeremy and me is that being an effective christian leader is by leading others on how to do life. Not because our way is perfect. Not because we are flawless, because sometimes I want to wring Jeremy's neck just like any other wife. Sometimes I fly off the handle at my kids too. But Jeremy knows I love him and my kids know their importance and how much we love and adore them. 1 Timothy 4:11-16 in the MSG translation says it like this : Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.

What I mainly mean is just because we pastor that doesn't mean our family gets pushed off to the side while the flock gets tended to. Or that we don't live or practice what we preach. Actions speak louder than words. People watch better than they listen. This goes for ANY job, any ministry, any situation. Nothing else comes before our precious little family.

No one else is judged for how our children are parented, but we are. So we must stay true to ourselves & our families before any other outside source. We have our children for such a short time before they are adults.

Jeremy & I are not willing to give in to the pressures of the church, the world, fame, money, etc. by sacrificing each other or our children on the altar of ministry or of the world. If God is truly in all we do and at the center, then placing such importance on our families is imperative.

I think Jeremy is much better at everything else & a greater influence when he can be a positive example of a great husband & father. As I am a much better woman in general when I am a positive example of a good wife and mother.

If I can lead myself by seeking God first and above all else and placing Him at the center of all I do, then I can give myself to Jeremy in a way that is God pleasing, and I can be the wife & mother God has called me to be which only THEN allows me to lead others and help others to lead their families... and so on and so forth.

To stay true to God, Family, & Ourselves we have to be willing to block the outside voices and their vain attempts at getting us to compromise our families. Where do you think the devil likes to prowl in a Christian's life? Where does he want to divide? Look at the divorce rate out there. Look at the prodigal children who leave their faith & turn away from God when they are 18.

We MUST place a greater importance on Family! Once a mom, always a mom, but as far as in our homes, day in and day out, needed constantly by our children... It's a very, ridiculously short time. We have the rest of our lives for everything else. We can still even do the other things now. We just have to put God first, then our spouse & kids. We will be able to give ourselves to the world better when we have those priorities straight.

Don't allow the world, money, fame, riches, ministry, feeding the poor to take you away from your children. Humbly serve the poor WITH your kids... Seek & Save the lost WITH your kids... Don't leave your family on the wayside while you run around playing Robin Hood to the rest of the world.

You can better give to others when you prioritize and stay true to God, your family & yourself.

Don't love money so much you sacrifice your dignity & family.

Don't desire a big name for yourself so much you sacrifice what's important to get it.

Life is often lived on an egotistical basis rather than an integrity based priority list.

Things come up. There are busy seasons and different stages & situations. I get that. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Just don't sacrifice your precious family, yet claim you put God first in your life and remember Him in all you do.

What have you allowed to take you from your spouse or your kids?

Is God at the center of all you do?

The things we allow to take us from our families aren't necessarily bad things, they can be extremely noble and much needed things. But in the wrong order, out of context, at the wrong time, something good can become something not so good when it robs us of what's most important.

For more reading on prioritizing here are some additional articles...

Simplicity

Prioritizing Family Habits

Get Your Priorities Straight

All About Priorities

Back to School

What are some of your back to school traditions? Quite frankly I would like to steal some :)

Our First day of school dinner tomorrow, as requested by my girls, will be The Pioneer Woman's Chicken Fried Steak, some mashed potatoes topped with the fried steak gravy, and one of my favorite salads

Fresh Spinach
Granny Smith Apple -chopped
Dried Cranberries
Almonds or Walnuts
Shredded Swiss Cheese
Poppy Seed Dressing

For Dessert we will have a very SIMPLE and awesome dessert I got from my friend Jen! Thanks Jen!!!

CHOCOLATE CHIP CHEESECAKE BARS
1 (30 oz.) package Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough (Refrigerated section, rolls of dough)
1 (16.5 oz.) package Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough (Refrigerated section, rolls of dough)
2 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
Spread about 25 ounces of the large roll of softened chocolate chip cookie dough into a greased 13" x 9" pan.  This is your crust.  Beat the softened cream cheese, sugar, and eggs with a mixer.  Spread over the bottom cookie layer.  Crumble the remaining 5 ounces of the first roll of cookie dough over the top of the cream cheese mixture.  Open the smaller roll of cookie dough.  Continue to crumble over the top of the cream cheese mixture.  (I usually use up about 10-12 ounces of the second roll – but top with as much as you like) Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.  If using an 8 X 8 pan, half all of the above ingredients.


As far as breakfast goes we will probably send them off with their most favorite breakfast of all! (Tomorrow will definitely be a NO holding back the fat kind of eating day!) Paula Deen's Baked French Toast This is to die for!!! Seriously, deliciously amazing!

Tonight I hope to get the kids in bed and asleep nice and early so they are extra chipper for their teachers tomorrow. Good-Bye summer and mama sleeping in, time for responsibility and grown up stuff.

My Back to School prayer for my kids is this:

Dear Lord,

Please help my kids to be good influences. Help them to be leaders and not followers. Help their teachers to love them. I pray learning comes easy for them. I pray that they will work hard. I pray that they would be obedient, little rule followers. Help them to stand up for what is right no matter what. Protect them from bullies and other punk kids. Protect their ears from unwholesome talk, ungodliness, & drama and although much is inevitable help them to not be negatively influenced by punk kids. Help them to stand up for the less fortunate and advocate fairness and friendship will all kinds of kids. Bless their teachers with patience beyond all else. I pray my kids will be a blessing in their classrooms to both the students and their teachers. I pray that they will resist negative temptation and that in all they do, day in and day out, they would strive to please you. May they know you are with them always and walk with you every day of their lives.

AMEN

Family Thoughts...

As summer, unfortunately nears an end and we gear up for another school year I find myself thinking a lot of the average family in today's world. The one thing that comes to mind is "BUSY". We are way too, cotton picking busy people.

Some of us rushing here, there and everywhere, carting the world and ourselves all over kingdom come like chickens with our heads cut off. What has happened to truly valuing QUALITY time? How can we do that when we are so rushed and occupied with life?

Now, I know there are busy seasons in this roller coaster of life. I get it. I have kids. I have a life. We understand busy. But I am SO thankful my husband and I are on the same page as far as balance! Balance is the key! Is your life balanced? Does your family come first NO MATTER what?

I have a few bits of advice that are just on my heart to share in hopes that they might encourage someone to take control of their family time and VALUE these short years we have with our children at home instead of shuffling them & ourselves off everywhere!

1. One kid, One event. Period.
2. Think about creating a starting age for events. We started Carter at 3 (firstborn syndrome) Waited for Addyson who is now 6 & starting riding lessons. But we'll see if we can stick with that and keep Makenna (4) from an activity besides the library story time til she is 6.
3. Look ahead in calendar planning. A calendar, when you can help it should be well balanced. A month should not look crammed. If you have an especially busy week, then plan that one of the days you happen to have free is a "keep free/plan nothing" day. I don't care if you have to be constantly doing something! Or if you are one of "those busy bodies". There is VALUE in the stillness!
4. Schedule dates with your spouse. Get them on the calendar. DATES are extremely important to set time aside for!
5. Schedule dates with your kids. Schedule time with each one individually, that you set aside to do whatever they want (within reason). Our kids LOVE coffee dates and just talking.
6. You have the REST of your life to do "everything" else. Remember you will never look back and wish you did one more event, went to one more gathering, meeting, trip, etc... BUT You will look back and wish you spent one more moment with your child(ren).
7. Don't sacrifice your kids on the altar of busyness & hectic schedules. Don't be so willing to trade in your family for anything.
8. Eat at least 3 dinners a week together as a family
9. Love to a child is most often spelled T-I-M-E

We must strive to balance our weeks, then our months, so our years don't fly so tremendously fast. Don't rush this time you have with your children. Don't thrive on them being "gone".

Your child needs you. They need to know that you want to be with them. That you like being with them. That you not only LOVE them, but you like them and thoroughly enjoy them too!

Slow down...Say No...Put your family first

Ode to Motherhood

What to you is the loudest, most obnoxious animal at the zoo? Multiply that by 10 and you have the sounds endured on the car ride home from church last night.

My best friend drove us home because my van is in the shop & jeremy needed his car. So in the midst of the cackling hyena, screeching penguin, and obnoxious sea lion, in other words: MY 3 Kids; my best friend says "so this is really your life, hey?"

My response: "Yea, it's amazing I'm not addicted to meth"

I love my kids. Don't get me wrong. They are the cutest, most adorable, sweetest, 'I cannot smooch them enough' kids on earth! I LOVE my children.

But like any good mom, sometimes you just have to think, it's amazing we're as sane as we actually are, given all that being a mom entails. Ode to single parents who do it all alone, cause when my husband is out of town and there is no "momma needs quiet time". Wow. My ears bleed, my kids talk non-stop, they are all mini-me's...3 times little me. Ahhhhhhhh!

Little divas...

I'll take the crazy & chaos over ANY thing though. Because how can you not see these faces and feel beyond blessed as a mom!