Each of us has a core. A "who we are at the core of our being". When we compromise that core, we are only keeping up temporary appearances. Because who we are at the core, is who God created us to be. It doesn't change. Attitudes change. Choices change. Priorities change. Seasons change. Life around us changes so we adapt, we adjust. We grow, we mature, we learn, we like new things and dislike old things, etc. But the core of who we are doesn't change. We may try to cover it up for a time as we try to be someone we are not. We might make attempts to tailor our core to fit another's ideal, but it won't last. Eventually we all get sick of pretending.
Men and women can find themselves frustrated in relationships after they marry or make a strong commitment and the other person has "seemingly changed". But I think it's less that people change and more so that their or our core eventually comes out. We can only mask our core for so long.
I think more often we try and fool ourselves and others into thinking we are someone we are not so we can have control in some area of our lives. We do it to get that certain job. To get others to do what we want. To get the girl or guy. To get the part. To make a certain hire. We become the flavor of the hour to appease man, rather than remain who we are at the core and live for the audience of ONE off the bat. In the end if we're not ourselves to begin with all control is lost.
When we can live for the audience of God alone, all else will fall into place. There will be no masks. No facades. No pretending. No temporary stuff we cannot keep up with. We don't have to fool people so we can manipulate them.
This is who I am, this is what I like to do, and so on and so forth is not an excuse to live like a maniac or to not change the outer layers around our core. Sometimes those outer layers need a revamp.
But don't change for anyone or anything. Be yourself. You are you for a reason. Don't pretend to be someone you are not. Don't even try to fool yourself into thinking you are someone you weren't created to be. Be wholly, completely, uniquely you.
Don't measure yourself against the standard of man. Don't compare yourself to others.
Ecclesiastes 7:29 MSG -God made men and women true and upright; we're the ones who've made a mess of things
NCV-One thing I have learned: God made people good, but they have found all kinds of ways to be bad.
Your core is good.
God created you to be good.
Stay true to who you are at the core of your being.
There's so much freedom in that.
Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts
March 20, 2012
February 2, 2012
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel well, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'
(author unknown)
Those sweet little eyes can see a lot! Our actions speak volumes to our children.
January 12, 2012
"Fights"
Proverbs 20:3 -"Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling"
This morning my husband shared this verse on his facebook from Proverbs that caused others to pose good questions...
Some had asked "what about equality or the fight to free slaves & such"? Good questions for sure. I had to share my husband's take:
My take on this would be, that it's about knowing what "fights" are worth engaging in. What fights has Jesus himself already shown worth fighting? Stuff like freedom, equality, forgiveness and ultimately salvation. I think it boils down to the ability to discern what and when (and in that order) issues are worth fighting for. I try to ask myself when faced with confrontation, "Is this a hill worth dying on?" and realize most quarrels simply aren't worth it and are possibly even a distraction from the issues worth fighting for. Jesus stood his ground on number of occasions by not necessarily fighting but by asking the right questions to help others come to better understanding or at least self evaluate whether the issue at hand was a hill worth dying on for them. Even causing accusers to reflect on if they even had a leg to stand on in making whatever accusation they were making. One of my most favorite Jesus statements is "Who ever is blameless among you throw the first stone." Jesus thought the only hill worth dying on was a hill called Golgotha and with it he purchased my salvation, my healing, my forgiveness, my everything...He choose to fight the "good" fights and avoid the meaningless ones...which, in my mind, is a rather admirable characteristic and something I'd like to improve on myself. And I'm willing to bet, God, if you ask Him, will speak to you about what "fights" you should be personally engaging in. That's my take on what the scripture/God is communicating here...and that's all the time and energy I'm going to give to this "fight." Make it a great day and fight the "good" fight of faith (I Timothy 6:12)!
My take on this would be, that it's about knowing what "fights" are worth engaging in. What fights has Jesus himself already shown worth fighting? Stuff like freedom, equality, forgiveness and ultimately salvation. I think it boils down to the ability to discern what and when (and in that order) issues are worth fighting for. I try to ask myself when faced with confrontation, "Is this a hill worth dying on?" and realize most quarrels simply aren't worth it and are possibly even a distraction from the issues worth fighting for. Jesus stood his ground on number of occasions by not necessarily fighting but by asking the right questions to help others come to better understanding or at least self evaluate whether the issue at hand was a hill worth dying on for them. Even causing accusers to reflect on if they even had a leg to stand on in making whatever accusation they were making. One of my most favorite Jesus statements is "Who ever is blameless among you throw the first stone." Jesus thought the only hill worth dying on was a hill called Golgotha and with it he purchased my salvation, my healing, my forgiveness, my everything...He choose to fight the "good" fights and avoid the meaningless ones...which, in my mind, is a rather admirable characteristic and something I'd like to improve on myself. And I'm willing to bet, God, if you ask Him, will speak to you about what "fights" you should be personally engaging in. That's my take on what the scripture/God is communicating here...and that's all the time and energy I'm going to give to this "fight." Make it a great day and fight the "good" fight of faith (I Timothy 6:12)!
January 3, 2012
Perseverance & Integrity
In my last post which hinged from my 2011 year in review, I combined Staying true to God, family, & yourself with priorities...because I think the main way we can stay true to those important beings is by having our priorities straight.
In this post I am combining 'perseverance is painfully necessary' with 'doing what is right even when you don't feel like it'. The two are highly relatable!
I like to think of persevering as patience in practice or persisting with patience. Persevering is persisting in anything undertaken. Maintaining a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continuing steadfastly, having a good & positive attitude while waiting; Enduring when the going gets tough; Continuing on, lasting, keeping on, carrying on through the hard times; Bearing difficulties bravely; Trying again and again.; Perseverance is a day by day decision not to give up.
"Victory belongs to the most persevering". -Napoleon Bonaparte
"To persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage to a man". -Euripides
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try". -Beverly Sills
Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 ". . . The race is not [always] to the swift, nor the battle to the strong"
"Having chosen our course, without guile and with pure purpose, let us renew our trust in God, and go forward without fear and with manly hearts." -Abraham Lincoln
"Defeat is simply a signal to press onward." -Helen Keller
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand".
We have no reason NOT to endure! God goes with us! Perseverance begins or ends in the mind of the one who struggles. You hold the power and will to keep going! When you can try no more...try again!
Matthew 10:22 and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them. -C.S. Lewis
In this post I am combining 'perseverance is painfully necessary' with 'doing what is right even when you don't feel like it'. The two are highly relatable!
I like to think of persevering as patience in practice or persisting with patience. Persevering is persisting in anything undertaken. Maintaining a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continuing steadfastly, having a good & positive attitude while waiting; Enduring when the going gets tough; Continuing on, lasting, keeping on, carrying on through the hard times; Bearing difficulties bravely; Trying again and again.; Perseverance is a day by day decision not to give up.
"Victory belongs to the most persevering". -Napoleon Bonaparte
"To persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage to a man". -Euripides
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try". -Beverly Sills
Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 ". . . The race is not [always] to the swift, nor the battle to the strong"
"Having chosen our course, without guile and with pure purpose, let us renew our trust in God, and go forward without fear and with manly hearts." -Abraham Lincoln
"Defeat is simply a signal to press onward." -Helen Keller
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand".
We have no reason NOT to endure! God goes with us! Perseverance begins or ends in the mind of the one who struggles. You hold the power and will to keep going! When you can try no more...try again!
Matthew 10:22 and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
Romans 5:3-4 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
1 Timothy 4:16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us
James 5:11 Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
2 Peter 1:5-7 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.
Revelation 2:2 I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false.
Battles are fought in our minds every day. When we begin to feel the battle is just too difficult and want to give up, we must choose to resist negative thoughts and be determined to rise above our problems. We must decide that we’re not going to quit. When we’re bombarded with doubts and fears, we must take a stand and say: “I’ll never give up! God’s on my side. He loves me, and He’s helping me! I’m going to make it! - Joyce Meyer
We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. -C.S. Lewis
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. -C.S. Lewis
Be DETERMINED to practice patience and endure the painful waiting process. Be determined to carry on in times of trouble.
Put a smile on your face and keep on keeping on.
"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a not in it and hang on" -Thomas Jefferson
...
That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. -Martin Luther King, JrDoing what's right is to act honestly and with integrity. If you are a man or woman of integrity you adhere to moral principles and your actions are wholesome.
In times of trouble and frustration, seek to do what's right. In every given situation, wherever you are, whatever you are facing, ask yourself what the right thing to do is. Then do it. Choose what's right even if you don't feel like it. Eventually your inner attitude will match the outer one.
Don't act out of anger or pride. Don't act out of insecurity or jealousy. If we have integrity we're not corrupt and strive to not be hypocritical.
A person of integrity is not impulsive, nor do they justify their behavior.
The integrity of the honest keeps them on track; the deviousness of crooks brings them to ruin -Proverbs 11:3
The integrity of the honest keeps them on track; the deviousness of crooks brings them to ruin -Proverbs 11:3
A person of integrity is a person of their word and is trustworthy.
A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence - Proverbs 11:13
The reason integrity/doing what's right & perseverance go hand in hand so well is that many times our efforts are in vain, or seem in vain. But we must keep going. Persevere in what's right! Be persistent in doing the things that are good and noble! Even when you feel like it doesn't matter, continue on the straight & narrow path...
A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence - Proverbs 11:13
The reason integrity/doing what's right & perseverance go hand in hand so well is that many times our efforts are in vain, or seem in vain. But we must keep going. Persevere in what's right! Be persistent in doing the things that are good and noble! Even when you feel like it doesn't matter, continue on the straight & narrow path...
January 1, 2012
Stay true to God, Your Family & Yourself
Something that God has echoed over & over again in my own life and tested me on is: Priorities. Making sure I prioritize in a way that is pleasing to Him. God has allowed me insight and wisdom as to what best works for our little family. After all, He gave me these kids and gave them Jeremy & I as their parents for a reason. He has created us. He placed us with one another. So we must work with what we have and be true to who we are and what kind of parents we feel our children need. Because after our salvation, our children are the greatest tangible gift in this world.
I truly believe for a healthy and thriving family we must ALWAYS place God at the center of everything! Colossians 1:15-20 repeatedly tells us that Jesus is first, before, and over everything; He is the beginning. He is most important. But don't just focus on keeping Him first, because then you might neglect Him, but keep Him IN everything you do! The center of your marriage, your family, your ministry, your job, your friendships, etc.
God is of the utmost importance. And then come our Spouse & Kids... only after that, comes everything else.
It's not about rules. It's just a formula for prioritizing that will reap blessings beyond all you can imagine.
Number one, if we are going to stay true to God, our families, and ourselves we have to get our priorities straight. If our home is out of order or out of whack what good will we be at leading others? What sort of examples will we be?
Something that I feel God has been teaching Jeremy and me is that being an effective christian leader is by leading others on how to do life. Not because our way is perfect. Not because we are flawless, because sometimes I want to wring Jeremy's neck just like any other wife. Sometimes I fly off the handle at my kids too. But Jeremy knows I love him and my kids know their importance and how much we love and adore them. 1 Timothy 4:11-16 in the MSG translation says it like this : Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.
What I mainly mean is just because we pastor that doesn't mean our family gets pushed off to the side while the flock gets tended to. Or that we don't live or practice what we preach. Actions speak louder than words. People watch better than they listen. This goes for ANY job, any ministry, any situation. Nothing else comes before our precious little family.
No one else is judged for how our children are parented, but we are. So we must stay true to ourselves & our families before any other outside source. We have our children for such a short time before they are adults.
Jeremy & I are not willing to give in to the pressures of the church, the world, fame, money, etc. by sacrificing each other or our children on the altar of ministry or of the world. If God is truly in all we do and at the center, then placing such importance on our families is imperative.
I think Jeremy is much better at everything else & a greater influence when he can be a positive example of a great husband & father. As I am a much better woman in general when I am a positive example of a good wife and mother.
If I can lead myself by seeking God first and above all else and placing Him at the center of all I do, then I can give myself to Jeremy in a way that is God pleasing, and I can be the wife & mother God has called me to be which only THEN allows me to lead others and help others to lead their families... and so on and so forth.
To stay true to God, Family, & Ourselves we have to be willing to block the outside voices and their vain attempts at getting us to compromise our families. Where do you think the devil likes to prowl in a Christian's life? Where does he want to divide? Look at the divorce rate out there. Look at the prodigal children who leave their faith & turn away from God when they are 18.
We MUST place a greater importance on Family! Once a mom, always a mom, but as far as in our homes, day in and day out, needed constantly by our children... It's a very, ridiculously short time. We have the rest of our lives for everything else. We can still even do the other things now. We just have to put God first, then our spouse & kids. We will be able to give ourselves to the world better when we have those priorities straight.
Don't allow the world, money, fame, riches, ministry, feeding the poor to take you away from your children. Humbly serve the poor WITH your kids... Seek & Save the lost WITH your kids... Don't leave your family on the wayside while you run around playing Robin Hood to the rest of the world.
You can better give to others when you prioritize and stay true to God, your family & yourself.
Don't love money so much you sacrifice your dignity & family.
Don't desire a big name for yourself so much you sacrifice what's important to get it.
Life is often lived on an egotistical basis rather than an integrity based priority list.
Things come up. There are busy seasons and different stages & situations. I get that. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Just don't sacrifice your precious family, yet claim you put God first in your life and remember Him in all you do.
What have you allowed to take you from your spouse or your kids?
Is God at the center of all you do?
The things we allow to take us from our families aren't necessarily bad things, they can be extremely noble and much needed things. But in the wrong order, out of context, at the wrong time, something good can become something not so good when it robs us of what's most important.
I truly believe for a healthy and thriving family we must ALWAYS place God at the center of everything! Colossians 1:15-20 repeatedly tells us that Jesus is first, before, and over everything; He is the beginning. He is most important. But don't just focus on keeping Him first, because then you might neglect Him, but keep Him IN everything you do! The center of your marriage, your family, your ministry, your job, your friendships, etc.
God is of the utmost importance. And then come our Spouse & Kids... only after that, comes everything else.
It's not about rules. It's just a formula for prioritizing that will reap blessings beyond all you can imagine.
Number one, if we are going to stay true to God, our families, and ourselves we have to get our priorities straight. If our home is out of order or out of whack what good will we be at leading others? What sort of examples will we be?
Something that I feel God has been teaching Jeremy and me is that being an effective christian leader is by leading others on how to do life. Not because our way is perfect. Not because we are flawless, because sometimes I want to wring Jeremy's neck just like any other wife. Sometimes I fly off the handle at my kids too. But Jeremy knows I love him and my kids know their importance and how much we love and adore them. 1 Timothy 4:11-16 in the MSG translation says it like this : Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.
What I mainly mean is just because we pastor that doesn't mean our family gets pushed off to the side while the flock gets tended to. Or that we don't live or practice what we preach. Actions speak louder than words. People watch better than they listen. This goes for ANY job, any ministry, any situation. Nothing else comes before our precious little family.
No one else is judged for how our children are parented, but we are. So we must stay true to ourselves & our families before any other outside source. We have our children for such a short time before they are adults.
Jeremy & I are not willing to give in to the pressures of the church, the world, fame, money, etc. by sacrificing each other or our children on the altar of ministry or of the world. If God is truly in all we do and at the center, then placing such importance on our families is imperative.
I think Jeremy is much better at everything else & a greater influence when he can be a positive example of a great husband & father. As I am a much better woman in general when I am a positive example of a good wife and mother.
If I can lead myself by seeking God first and above all else and placing Him at the center of all I do, then I can give myself to Jeremy in a way that is God pleasing, and I can be the wife & mother God has called me to be which only THEN allows me to lead others and help others to lead their families... and so on and so forth.
To stay true to God, Family, & Ourselves we have to be willing to block the outside voices and their vain attempts at getting us to compromise our families. Where do you think the devil likes to prowl in a Christian's life? Where does he want to divide? Look at the divorce rate out there. Look at the prodigal children who leave their faith & turn away from God when they are 18.
We MUST place a greater importance on Family! Once a mom, always a mom, but as far as in our homes, day in and day out, needed constantly by our children... It's a very, ridiculously short time. We have the rest of our lives for everything else. We can still even do the other things now. We just have to put God first, then our spouse & kids. We will be able to give ourselves to the world better when we have those priorities straight.
Don't allow the world, money, fame, riches, ministry, feeding the poor to take you away from your children. Humbly serve the poor WITH your kids... Seek & Save the lost WITH your kids... Don't leave your family on the wayside while you run around playing Robin Hood to the rest of the world.
You can better give to others when you prioritize and stay true to God, your family & yourself.
Don't love money so much you sacrifice your dignity & family.
Don't desire a big name for yourself so much you sacrifice what's important to get it.
Life is often lived on an egotistical basis rather than an integrity based priority list.
Things come up. There are busy seasons and different stages & situations. I get that. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Just don't sacrifice your precious family, yet claim you put God first in your life and remember Him in all you do.
What have you allowed to take you from your spouse or your kids?
Is God at the center of all you do?
The things we allow to take us from our families aren't necessarily bad things, they can be extremely noble and much needed things. But in the wrong order, out of context, at the wrong time, something good can become something not so good when it robs us of what's most important.
For more reading on prioritizing here are some additional articles...
December 21, 2011
Justifications
I recently spent a very short amount of time with someone who I would consider a little annoying. I was kind to this person, but in my heart could not help but laugh at some of the goofiness. Even on the exterior I found it hard to hide my inner feelings and thoughts. This person is kind, never did anything to me, but is just quirky as we all are at times. I felt myself not being able to wait until our time near one another was over. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but I felt terrible for how I felt. No one deserves that. Everyone deserves a chance.
My mom has always, always encouraged us to be kind to EVERYONE. And in general, in the grand scope of life, I would say yes, I am and have been a very kind person. With the exception of a handful of times. It's those times that haunt my thoughts the most though. The guilt I feel is terrible. Because I am a loyal & trustworthy friend. I am a good listener. I'm a good confidant.
Since I am really not a mean person at the core, the times I have been seem to plague my mind like no other, as guilt takes over me.
As I think back to being a kid and the times I wasn't so nice I feel such annoyance with myself.
I find myself in these moments making excuses to justify my behavior. Or when that doesn't work, I try to minimize my actions as I attempt to make them out to not be a big deal. Or I use the excuse "it's not like I'm going to hell if I did that"... Anything to minimize the guilt.
"It's not like I'm going to hell"... Have you ever used or thought that line? We downplay our sin, we justify our less than mediocre behavior and actions, all for the sake of being able to minimize our guilty consciences. In justifying we tend to measure our sin up & down.
Picture holding a yard stick vertically...
We like to place our sin on levels or rate sin from 1-10. And since we rate sin in our own lives so we can justify our actions, we end up using it as a tool to judge the way others live their lives as well.
We might put Murder at the top as worst sin ever. Then we'll say cheating on a spouse is a little below that, it's bad but hey it's not murder. Well it murders marriage & a spouse's esteem, but they are still alive. Where murder, I mean, murder, now that's just bad. Maybe breaking the law, like burglary, maybe that's a little above adultery. Then based on our morals & values we'll have a couple things in between that as well. And the sin that is at the bottom of our measuring stick is the sin we tend to say "It's not like I'm going to hell because of that" to justify the "little sins". Maybe like lying, gossiping, or having a cold heart like I did with the person I wrote about above.
Man rates sin, God hates sin. Man justifies sin, Jesus exemplifies forgiveness for our sin.
Lying & Murder: God hates both. Pride & Arrogance: we might as well rob a bank. Gossip? God detests as much as adultery. Our sin is all the same in God's eyes.
"We all fall short of the glory of God" shouldn't be an excuse for us to blatantly sin, knowing "this is wrong", I should not do this and then do it anyway. God being a loving & forgiving God isn't an excuse to go ahead & continue sinning knowing we can just ask for forgiveness later.
Live & Learn, but don't justify. Don't make excuses so you can minimize the guilt.
Unless we are sociopaths, most of us experience feelings of guilt at the thought of our sin/wrongdoings. Our nature as humans is that of flawed beings. So when we strive for perfection but fail to reach it, that's a product of our human nature. Accept your shortcomings, but don't let them be a continuous excuse.
Accept that you are not perfect so you don't dwell and dwell over your every wrongdoing, but don't let our imperfection as human beings give you a license to live like the devil either.
We will sin. Daily. We will fall short. Continuously. But that cannot be an excuse to continue down a path of destruction. It cannot allow us to continue justifying our sin in an attempt to minimize our guilt. Justifying sin can result in us doing more of the same. Continuing down a path of "never learning from our mistakes" will keep us in a pattern of sin, guilt, sin, guilt, sin, guilt.
I love the story of the woman who was caught in adultery & about to be stoned, because I think anyone with any kind of "past" can relate in more ways than we can count to what she must have felt when Jesus showed His love, mercy, grace & forgiveness! It summarizes God's love for us, God's lack of condemnation, the fact that we all sin & fall short. I've done some stupid things in my life. I've knowingly entered into sin & continued down paths of unrighteousness knowing full well what I was doing was wrong. I've reaped consequences for my actions. I've done terrible things that have caused me to feel such feelings of unworthiness, hatred towards myself, frustration, regret and lack of forgiveness.
John 8:1-11 Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. Sometimes I want to shout at the people from this story, "You freaken hypocrites! Seriously?!?!". Some of the men accusing her were most likely the ones she slept with!
Forgiving ourselves can be one of the hardest tasks. Forgiveness & Justification are 2 different things! To justify is to excuse. Forgiveness is a commitment to pursue change. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion as we ourselves are forgiven and understand what that feels like. Forgiveness doesn't minimize or justify wrongs. We can forgive ourselves & others without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that justification will never bring. When we are forgiven we are allowed the chance to change. We are able to learn from our mistakes. Without forgiveness we are just holding grudges against others or ourselves and beating our minds with constant negativity
My mom has always, always encouraged us to be kind to EVERYONE. And in general, in the grand scope of life, I would say yes, I am and have been a very kind person. With the exception of a handful of times. It's those times that haunt my thoughts the most though. The guilt I feel is terrible. Because I am a loyal & trustworthy friend. I am a good listener. I'm a good confidant.
Since I am really not a mean person at the core, the times I have been seem to plague my mind like no other, as guilt takes over me.
As I think back to being a kid and the times I wasn't so nice I feel such annoyance with myself.
I find myself in these moments making excuses to justify my behavior. Or when that doesn't work, I try to minimize my actions as I attempt to make them out to not be a big deal. Or I use the excuse "it's not like I'm going to hell if I did that"... Anything to minimize the guilt.
"It's not like I'm going to hell"... Have you ever used or thought that line? We downplay our sin, we justify our less than mediocre behavior and actions, all for the sake of being able to minimize our guilty consciences. In justifying we tend to measure our sin up & down.
Picture holding a yard stick vertically...
We like to place our sin on levels or rate sin from 1-10. And since we rate sin in our own lives so we can justify our actions, we end up using it as a tool to judge the way others live their lives as well.
We might put Murder at the top as worst sin ever. Then we'll say cheating on a spouse is a little below that, it's bad but hey it's not murder. Well it murders marriage & a spouse's esteem, but they are still alive. Where murder, I mean, murder, now that's just bad. Maybe breaking the law, like burglary, maybe that's a little above adultery. Then based on our morals & values we'll have a couple things in between that as well. And the sin that is at the bottom of our measuring stick is the sin we tend to say "It's not like I'm going to hell because of that" to justify the "little sins". Maybe like lying, gossiping, or having a cold heart like I did with the person I wrote about above.
Big Sin
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Bad, but not terrible sin
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Little sins
If we measure sin the way God does, we will all be on the same page.
We are all equal. We are all just as messed up as the next person.
Jesus
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Sin
WE. ALL. FALL. SHORT. OF. THE. GLORY. OF. GOD.
Man rates sin, God hates sin. Man justifies sin, Jesus exemplifies forgiveness for our sin.
Lying & Murder: God hates both. Pride & Arrogance: we might as well rob a bank. Gossip? God detests as much as adultery. Our sin is all the same in God's eyes.
"We all fall short of the glory of God" shouldn't be an excuse for us to blatantly sin, knowing "this is wrong", I should not do this and then do it anyway. God being a loving & forgiving God isn't an excuse to go ahead & continue sinning knowing we can just ask for forgiveness later.
Live & Learn, but don't justify. Don't make excuses so you can minimize the guilt.
Unless we are sociopaths, most of us experience feelings of guilt at the thought of our sin/wrongdoings. Our nature as humans is that of flawed beings. So when we strive for perfection but fail to reach it, that's a product of our human nature. Accept your shortcomings, but don't let them be a continuous excuse.
Accept that you are not perfect so you don't dwell and dwell over your every wrongdoing, but don't let our imperfection as human beings give you a license to live like the devil either.
We will sin. Daily. We will fall short. Continuously. But that cannot be an excuse to continue down a path of destruction. It cannot allow us to continue justifying our sin in an attempt to minimize our guilt. Justifying sin can result in us doing more of the same. Continuing down a path of "never learning from our mistakes" will keep us in a pattern of sin, guilt, sin, guilt, sin, guilt.
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There is NO condemnation in Christ. So we can stop the pattern of sin & guilt! God is SO loving & so forgiving! So whatever you have done, if there is something you have done and you continue to beat yourself up over and over and over, Stop it. Ask for forgiveness, leave it in God's hands, and don't take it back. Remember "I, even, I am He who not only forgives & blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, but also forgets"-Isaiah 43:25. This is one of my favorite verses of all time! It shows the love & nature of God so well!I love the story of the woman who was caught in adultery & about to be stoned, because I think anyone with any kind of "past" can relate in more ways than we can count to what she must have felt when Jesus showed His love, mercy, grace & forgiveness! It summarizes God's love for us, God's lack of condemnation, the fact that we all sin & fall short. I've done some stupid things in my life. I've knowingly entered into sin & continued down paths of unrighteousness knowing full well what I was doing was wrong. I've reaped consequences for my actions. I've done terrible things that have caused me to feel such feelings of unworthiness, hatred towards myself, frustration, regret and lack of forgiveness.
John 8:1-11 Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. Sometimes I want to shout at the people from this story, "You freaken hypocrites! Seriously?!?!". Some of the men accusing her were most likely the ones she slept with!
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. Oh Jesus, what were you writing in that sand??? Was it the sin of everyone there? Was it the names of men she slept with right there? IN that powerful moment of Jesus' simple, but profound action His silence spoke louder than words. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. I picture Jesus having a field day with these hypocrites. I imagine Him moving over so they could see what He was writing. In that moment they saw the writing in the sand combined with the truth that we are all sinners, they left. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, Interesting the older ones left first, maybe because the older we are the more sin we'll have committed. until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin." I think she is the same woman who washed Jesus feet with her hair. An act of total servanthood & declaration of I'm yours! After experiencing God's grace & mercy you cannot help but not want to continue down the old path. I know that firsthand!
Forgiving ourselves can be one of the hardest tasks. Forgiveness & Justification are 2 different things! To justify is to excuse. Forgiveness is a commitment to pursue change. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion as we ourselves are forgiven and understand what that feels like. Forgiveness doesn't minimize or justify wrongs. We can forgive ourselves & others without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that justification will never bring. When we are forgiven we are allowed the chance to change. We are able to learn from our mistakes. Without forgiveness we are just holding grudges against others or ourselves and beating our minds with constant negativity
November 10, 2011
5 Steps to a Thankful Heart
1. See the good in every person and every situation
- Look at the all of the good things that surround a person, place, thing, or circumstance
2. No matter how you are feeling, no matter what the present circumstance-always look for the silver lining. (It's there!)
- Seek comfort, hope, and joy in the midst of difficulties or stress
3. Make a habit out of maintaining a sense of optimism and joy!
- Positive Outlook
4. Keep a list of what you are thankful for
- daily journal of thankfulness
5. Speak your thanks out loud
- a simple "Thank You" from a grateful heart can go a long way
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