April 3, 2012

Pleasantville VS Reality

According to Social Media a lot of my friends currently live in Pleasantville. Where life is daisies & fluff. Where life smells like roses & cherries. Everyone is SO blessed. Everyone is best friends. Everyone has THE perfect spouse. The most obedient, well behaved, cutest, always clean, never pee in their pants kids. Life is just hunky dory.

I mean, come on. Really? Really. Your life is seriously this fabulous ALL of the time? No. It isn't. That's not reality.

We live in this world of REAL life and then Social Media life.

A world where we have to pretend because our stalkers might see the real us. We fear the real us. Bosses might fire you for admitting something on the internet we all think, say or do. We might not get hired because of our Facebook activity. It's gotten so lame for some.

Modern Technology = 2012. It's the way people communicate today. So if it's the way we communicate why not be real? Why all this fluff?

While I am totally a glass half full, look at the positive, count your blessings type of person...I do have bad days. And sometimes I just want to be real. Sometimes I want to tell you I am having a bad day without feeling judged by the onlookers that think..."I can't believe she is admitting that". The last person anyone wants to open up to or be real with, is someone from the land of Pleasantville.

My world doesn't always smell like cherries. Though right now, if I really had to find a time we were the "happiest"...it may just be right now. Freedom galore.  My own little life is great. So this is NOT coming from a 'my life sucks so I'm gonna rain on your parade' attitude. Because if ever there was a time that it sucked, surely it's not now.

I think I have most often strived to be vulnerable in my life. Whether through social media or one on one. A lack of vulnerability has always frustrated me. Fake people have never NOT driven me insane, let's put it that way.

I say this from a heart that desires more sincerity. More vulnerable hearts. More honesty. More depth. More realness. Less fakeness. Less fruity fluff.

No, don't air your dirty laundry all over the place. No don't be a Debbie Downer and suck the life out of us. Vent if you need to, but you don't have to be a jerk about it. Just be real. There are ways to say & do things obviously. It just comes down to real vs fake. Reality vs Unreality.

I just wish there was more of a balance from people.

Some people and their posts. Ay yi yi..I mean do you really talk that way in life? All that weird lingo, saying the right things. Churchy words? Typing out what sounds so eloquent. All your lovey dovey, who haa. It's annoying. Who talks like that? Go get a job at a Greeting card company where your cheese would fit in quite well.

Miss June Cleaver, Stop trying to make others jealous by bragging about all of the good and only the good...all. of. the. stinking. time.

Life isn't a competition. Life isn't about who you can 'one up'. Honestly, when you brag, all that comes from it are people's annoyance. Sure people might feel envious, but is their envy worth their annoyance with you?

I don't know about you, but I think vulnerability is so refreshing.

We are usually blind to the power our vulnerability has. We've become so discouraged from embracing our vulnerability & letting others see it. But when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we heal in ways we never thought possible, others heal from our willingness to be open & real. 

Vulnerability on our part makes us so much more sensitive & empathetic to others. It means you deal with your present feelings and emotions. Vulnerability is scary. It opens us up to hurts, pain, judgement, critique, rejection, etc. I know that doesn't sound real fun. But on the other end, it is so liberating and freeing. No pretending. No keeping up with the Joneses. No keeping up appearances. No having to keep track of your lies, embellishments or exaggerations.

When I hear someone be real and open I am more apt to hear and listen to what they have to say or share. Someone from Pleasantville on the other hand, yes, their words go in one ear & out the other.

If you are sad...It's okay to admit it. When you are rejoicing, we will rejoice with you. It's not about not saying what you are happy, excited, or blessed with. It's about balance. It's about your heart.

A catty, fake heart shows through the fluffiness.

A sincere heart shows through your honesty.

A person trying to one up the world or make another jealous is planning their own demise.

Stop exhausting yourself with all of the pretending.

Just be yourself. Be real. Be vulnerable. When you struggle let another stand with you. If you aren't comfortable telling the whole world you don't have to for crying out loud. Like I said, I don't think people should air their dirty laundry and be a bunch of Joy stealing, Negative Nellie's. Being vulnerable doesn't mean telling the whole world every little thing under the sun about your life. I'm not suggesting that.

Just be real. Start one on one. Open up to someone. Slowly but surely it will come out in other areas and people will be more likely to respect you & listen to what you have to say.

If someone asks you how you are, and honestly you are not doing well...Then don't go overboard telling them how hunky dory life is while you are dying alone inside.

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